


Some Things Change, and Others Stay The Same

by ryoku



Category: Pandora Hearts
Genre: Gen, Tumblr:ph-fanfest, growing up sucks, that's the story
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-12-12
Updated: 2014-12-12
Packaged: 2018-03-01 04:52:28
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,552
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2760275
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ryoku/pseuds/ryoku
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Emily is sneaking out for the night. Kevin does not think that is good idea. Originally written for the 2014 PH-Fanfest on tumblr.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Some Things Change, and Others Stay The Same

**Author's Note:**

> This is highly revised. The base idea is the same, but it's almost twice as long as the original version, and, well it's tone turned out being very different from the original on the fanfest. I tend to prefer keeping things forever to poke at them and rewrite. With a 24 hour time limit, that didn't happen much. Are you still reading this? Go read the fic!

The door creaked when she opened it, and she winced. The sound echoing through the empty hallways seemed more like a lions roar than a noisy hinge. In normal daylight hours, the sound was hardly even noticeable; something she didn't think about. The activity of the servants, and her numerous siblings would have filled the halls and walls and paintings of their grand estate, and her attention would have been drawn to sultry smells wafting up from the kitchens on the ground floor, and the sounds of laughter coming from the library, where her older brothers congregated to talk about their latest adventures. She'd scamper off to see what they were up to, without even a single thought to the diminutive creaking of her parlor door. But in the dead of night, when no one moved or stirred or laughed, that same creak was a scream in the house, reverberating off of their walls and high ceilings, rattling the paintings and fine china, and shattering mirrors. Not literally of course. She had to take a deep breath, and remind herself that the house hadn't been assaulted by the ghastly sound at all. It had only been the high pitched squeal of her door, even if it had sounded horrid in the lingering quiet of the estate. 

Emily Sinclair waited with baited breath, and counted to ten in her head. The squeak hadn't been the loud deafening sound she swore that she'd heard, and she repeated that to herself over and over in her head. There was no need to be so worried, but that didn't stop her either. After her ten seconds had come and gone, Emily calmly released the breath she'd been holding. She couldn't hear a soul within the lingering silence, so with renewed resolve, she quietly stepped out of the doors small opening, connecting her toe with the floor, and then softly letting the rest of her foot fall, then did the same thing with the other foot. Once she was out, she turned, so that she was headed down the hall corridor and it was then, that she promptly ran into Kevin Legnard, in a most literal fashion. 

She bumped into him so hard, that Emily stumbled backwards, lost her footing, and landed on the marble of the hallway. The sound of the fall echoed around her, and she almost cursed. Almost. Instead, she looked up at him, and scowled. She hoped that in the dim light, he could at least see her indignation. A slight movement in the darkness made her think that he was blinking at her, and she could almost feel those red eyes of his on her, even if she couldn't entirely see them. Even if there had been any question as to who she ran into, Emily would have known it would be Kevin. It was always Kevin.

"Good evening, Lady Emily." He sounded just as impassive and solemn as he usually did, and she could only feel her scowl intensifying, the hard lines likely etching themselves onto her soft face. His gloved hand reached down towards her, but she waved it off, perhaps a little to aggressively. She didn't need him helping her up, she was plenty capable of doing at least that on her own. She huffed at him indignantly, and rose to her feet, dusting off her skirts once she was right side up. When she felt suitably composed, she angled another glare at Kevin, and hoped he could see it in the darkness, or at least sense her displeasure.

"Did father send you to baby-sit me?" The statement was whispered, or perhaps it was more accurate to say that she hissed it - a rather unbecoming trait she'd picked up from her father. Since it was so late, and she didn't want to be caught and stopped, so it couldn't be a loud statement, but it certainly needed all the bite she could give it. Forcing the sound between her teeth in a hiss seemed to do the trick. She certainly wanted Kevin to know that she was in no way pleased. "Were you ordered to stand out here all night, again?" It wasn't really a question, and Kevin was not going to answer it. She knew the answer, but she framed it as an inquiry nonetheless. 

As expected, what Emily could see of Kevin's face, did not change. He just stood there, as impassive and stony as usual. She hated that about him. "I was taking a walk around the manor." Was the answer Kevin gave her, but they both knew it was a bold faced lie. She hadn't heard him walking when she'd pressed her ear to the door, hadn't heard him move when the door had creaked. 

She scoffed at him, rolled her eyes, and stuck out her tongue. She composed herself fast enough, but the irritation didn't leave her. "Because that's what people do after a long day. They walk around in the dead of night and don't sleep. In the dark, without any light. Of course that's perfectly normal behavior, Kevin." The sarcasm in her voice was something her mother would have scolded her for, but that certainly hadn't stopped her from using it. She stuck out her tongue again, knowing full well how childish it made her look, and not caring in the least. 

Before giving Kevin a chance to respond, Emily turned on her heals, and walked in the opposite direction, working hard to make her foot falls light, even though at that exact moment, all she wanted to do was stomp her way through the estate. 

She heard the light clicking of Kevin's boots behind her, and though they were soft -because he always walked softly, on the balls of his feet, and always inhumanly quiet, like some sort of cat- that didn't stop them from resounding in her head. With every step he took, the sound compounded, bouncing around in the high ceilings of the hall way, and drifting down to her ears. Certainly if he had been walking before, she would have heard him. As if she hadn't already known he was lying to her. "Lady Emily." His tone wasn't loud, which Emily found she was grateful for, even if she had no intention of showing it. "Where are you going at this hour?" Kevin didn't sound concerned, but there was a hint of irritation to his voice. Good, she was irritated as well.

"I'm running away." Emily stated, in no uncertain terms. She moved faster down the hallway, accustomed to what all was in it, and how to maneuver her way around even in the dark. "I'm going to change my name to Catherine, join a circus, and throw knives at some dumb boy for the rest of my life."

"Lady Emily!" And this time, her name was a hiss, slithering out of his lips in a warning, as if he didn't want anyone else to hear what they were saying. She could imagine his red eyes widening, and then narrowing, and she could hear the increased tempo of his foot falls. "I can't allow that." The statue was back, the impenetrable knight Kevin Legnard had regained his wall like mannerisms just in time to scold her. How very predictable.

Emily huffed, and kept walking, even though Kevin was going to catch up with her, she increased her pace. "That's too bad. You're just having a late night stroll, not snooping around outside of my room like a creeper."

"You didn't even like the circus, Lady Emily. See reason!" It was not pleading, and it was neither soft or kind. Kevin had never been a gentle sort of man, never one to coax her out of anything. He was rough edges and sharp points, and that was how he lived his life. Even when he was trying to be pleasant with her, it was with a great deal of strain, likely on both of them. It wasn't something she resented, but something she did often exploit. 

"You're not suited to a life on your feet." The statement angered her, but Emily dismissed it - she thought of all the idiotic things people had said about her, that made her want to box ears and knock heads together, but she was good at dismissing those too - she waved in front of her, as if what he'd said was a pesky fly in her face or a smell that she needed out of her way. She exited the long hallway, and came out to the back entrance way. Being careful not to slow her pace, or trip in the process, Emily hurried down the staircase, skipping steps as she went. She came to the large double doors that led out of the estate, and into the tall grasses behind the house, and suddenly, Kevin was standing in front of her, blocking her path. She hadn't even heard him go down the stairs, his abilities always amazed her in normal context, but they were only a source of irritation at that exact moment. "Lady Emily, please go back to bed. Tomorrow is an important day for you."

Her scowl deepened, her lips pursing and her hands fisting in her skirts. She could hear her mother scolding her, telling her how unladylike it was to scowl, and how her face would stay that way if she did it too much, but she didn't care. Emily knew she had no chance of sneaking past Kevin, but that didn't stop her from attempting. She tried the left, then the right, then tried to fool him into thinking she was going one direction, while really attempting the other, but as expected, none of it worked. She looked up at him, and she could see his red eyes frowning down at her, his eyebrows a pair of jagged peaks barely noticeable in the darkness. She placed her hands on her hips, narrowed her eyes, and huffed at him. "Admit it! Father had you waiting outside my door!"

Emily saw those red eyes look away for a split second, the calculating look that crossed his face and made the side of his mouth twitch ever so slightly. He settled his eyes back on her again, before speaking. "Your Lord Father is only concerned."

She threw up her hands in exasperation, and refrained from literally growling in frustration. "I am allowed to leave my own home if that is my wish! Now move aside, Kevin! I'm just as much Sinclair as my father!" She knew that wouldn't work either, it never did, but she tried it anyway, and attempted to force her way through once more. Predictably, Kevin did not budge. As usual, his wall was impenetrable.

"Lady Emily," Kevin was hissing again, trying to keep his own temper in check, because even though he liked to pretend he didn't have one, he most certainly did. And she was quite skilled at wearing on his last nerve, but that only seemed fair. He was good at wearing on her nerves as well. "-tomorrow is-"

"Do shut up, Kevin! I don't want to hear it!" She glared up at him, crossed her arms in irritation, and looked away. As always, she couldn't tackle this problem head on. Kevin was far to resourceful for that. "I'll give you my deserts for the next week." 

One of Kevin Legnard's most well kept secrets, was his insatiable love of sweets, a thing that, in his opinion, made him less manly, and he refused to indulge in. But Emily knew, and if she had to, she had no shame in lording it over him. He gave her what she would describe as a once over. "You can't give me your deserts if you've run off to the circus." 

She huffed at him, knowing full well that she's been caught in her deception. "And why can't I? Circus people have deserts as well as anyone else!" It was a very poor response, and they were both very aware of it, but whereas Kevin's face shifted to irritation, Emily kept her features steady. She didn't particularly like lying, but she'd found she could be good at it, if she needed to be.

But Kevin had already sniffed out the body of her deception, now that she thought of it, it should have surprised her that he took her seriously the first time. She had mostly been joking, but obviously her anger had put a certain sense of believability to her statements. She'd have to remember that for later, that people were more likely to swallow any implausible lie you had to say if you were angry enough. "Where are you going, Lady Emily?" If she didn't know Kevin, Emily would have been cowed. But she did know him, so she wouldn't be cowed by his sharp biting tone. Just as he likely wouldn't be made to move by her stiff upper lip and her very rigid posture. Emily really wanted to huff and keep up their staring match forever; to challenge him until Kevin would have to move aside by her authority, but she was smarter than that. Kevin Legnard was a wall, immovable and impenetrable, she had to remind herself of that. 

"I'm not going to tell you." She said, a quiet defiance in her voice. "And I will go, regardless of you. This is my home, and I am able to go and come as I please, Kevin." 

Kevin didn't groan, because the great amazing knight Kevin Legnard did not groan, but he might as well have. It was a sound of exasperation, one she was quite familiar with, and one Kevin never admitted to making. It was this sort of breathy sound, a small puff, and the whirling of the air as it was shoved out of his mouth. She was winning. "I will go with you, Lady Emily, and we will be back." 

It wasn't a horrible solution, even though solitude had been what she wanted, she could tolerate his presence well enough. Some small part of her even admitted that she enjoyed having him around from time to time, not that she would ever admit to it out loud. Emily stifled a yawn trying to pry its way out of her mouth, and instead fashioned it as a sigh. She had no illusions that Kevin knew what it actually was, but he didn't say anything, so that was fine. "Well, it seems that you are in luck, since it wasn't actually my master plan to run away and join the circus." Kevin took a step away from the door, and she approached it in the absence he left. She gave him a sideways glance, and smiled to herself. "Though if you lightened up a bit, I imagine you would do rather well in a circus. You are funny." She paused, giving the comment plenty of time for Kevin to hear it, and just enough time to see that suspicious look come on his face. "Funny looking."  
She didn't giggle, but she hurled the door open and ran out of it. She didn't run as fast as she could, because she didn't need to. She felt the brisk air all around her, and the tall grass underfoot, and she knew that Kevin was glaring at her and grudgingly following. It reminded her of when she was younger, when she was more willful, less lady like. There had been less rules then, less things expected of her, less things needed of her. As she whirled around, her skirts arching around her form, she thought that it would be nice if less things were expected of her. 

-\|/-

She didn't go far. In fact, when she settled down onto the lush grass, she could still see the looming darkness of the estate in the distance, far more foreboding than inviting. She would have grass stains on her skirts, her mother would have some lovely things to say about it when she noticed, but Emily let that thought go. Let it blow away with the breeze, and the cool evening air that gave her goose bumps and frazzled her curly hair. What ladies should and should not do wasn't what she wanted to think about at that moment. 

Quite suddenly, Kevin was standing behind her. With the sound of the grass rustling all around her, she hadn't even heard him approach, though she had been sure that he had diligently followed her, like he always did. She arched her neck to look up at him, only to have the deep purple of his cloak drape over her face, and obstruct her view. For a second, she was shocked, then as if from a daze she reached up and pulled the fabric, so that her head stuck out of the cloak, and her arms pulled it's rough cloth tightly around her arms and shoulders. She could feel his lingering warmth, as it clung to the fabric. She sighed, and to her ears, it felt like a tired sound, something a person of her age shouldn't make. 

Emily looked up, and from the shadows she could see Kevin looming over her, but she didn't focus on him. Instead, she angled her gaze to the sky, and the vast expanse of stars above her. "There's to be a meteor shower tonight." Emily offered the statement as a sort of peace offering, because even though she often irritated Kevin, she didn't usually enjoy it. The cloak was his peace offering, and she had to show her sincerity as well. Since Kevin could not put words to such a thing, she would have to say it for both of them. 

"You enjoy star gazing." There was a hint of realization to the tone, and it almost made her smile. Almost. Emily couldn't see his face anymore - because Kevin had turned up his chin, following her gaze up towards the expanse of stars - but she imagined that those red eyes would be just the slightest bit inquisitive, even though there was no question within his tone. 

She shifted her gaze back to the stars, and saw something shoot across the sky out of the corner of her eye. Emily quickly moved her head for a better view, but by that time, the shooting star was already long gone. Movement behind her indicated that Kevin had noticed it as well, but if he had caught a good look at it, he didn't say. "I do." She didn't really need to answer, but she had the cloak, and Kevin was probably cold now as well. Despite how strong and formidable he was, Kevin never looked it to her. Oh yes, he wouldn't budge an inch if he didn't want to, but she remembered looking at his wrists and thinking how they were not large, and how narrow his face often seemed, and how his arms seemed unnatural in their strength, because they were scarcely large enough for such things. Kevin was not a large man; he was likely cold as well, and she had his coat. "I fell asleep here, in the grass. I didn't wake until morning, but by then, the manor was in an uproar. Father thought I had run away, but I had simply been careless." 

Emily had hoped he would say something, but he didn't. Kevin stayed silent, as if urging her to go on. No one else in the estate had believed that she had not attempted to run away. Of course, she hadn't exactly been forthcoming about what she had been doing either. 'Early to bed, early to rise', she could hear her mother say. This would be one more thing that she would have to forfeit in pursuit of being a proper lady. She felt like she was giving up so much of herself already, becoming something she couldn't recognize in the mirror. 

"Kevin, I'm scared." She hadn't meant to say it, not really. She hadn't even said it to herself, but she'd said it, and there was no taking it back now. Perhaps it helped that she knew Kevin was looking up at the stars, and not down at her, as he often did. She needed the safety of the stars, the blanket that they provided her. One thing that would stay, and wait for her when she could find time to be the rebellious, rambunctious girl she was naturally. "Tonight is my last night. Tomorrow I will wear that god awful dress, walk down the aisle, and there waiting for me, will be a man with land and riches and political power. Tomorrow I will be someone new, someone I don't want to be; and I must be that person for the rest of my life." 

Emily had every intention of continuing, but a star streaked across the sky, right in front of her face, and she paused. "You will always be the same Emily Sinclair." She hadn't expected Kevin to speak, to say anything. He always tried to be so stoic, striving to be one thing over the other. There was no doubt in her mind that Kevin did not know how to handle her, or perhaps any woman that he came across. He knew the rules for a knight, the chivalry, the pedagogy that was expected of him, but she wondered if he also was a character that didn't like fitting into his preordained role. The certainty with which he made the statement, seemed to imply that he had struggled with it at some point. "Duty is important, but it isn't all that you will ever be. There will be things that will never fit."

She did look at him this time, but his head was still turned upwards, away from her almost entirely. He didn't want to be seen, just like she hadn't wanted him to look down at her. Emily shifted her gaze back to the stars above her. "Like the sweets?"

Emily could almost feel him glaring up at the night sky in indignation, because his face did not move, but she could see his fist clench ever so slightly at his side. She hadn't meant the statement to be mean, but perhaps it had been callous. "I don't mind." The silence that lingered between them gobbled up her words, and she rushed to add more, fiddling with the cloak around her shoulders. "The sweets. I think it's rather charming. We could have tea together, and I know that you would genuinely enjoy it." She paused, and was reminded that they had never had tea together, not really. Kevin had been a tag-a-long at tea parties she'd attended, but that didn't mean he participated a great deal. Usually, he just stood by the door, looking stony and fighting down disinterest. She wondered if he really would genuinely enjoy a tea party. "Though, enjoying things seems like it's suppose to be off limits for you." It struck her then, that she really didn't know much of anything about him. What he liked to do, what he was good at, what Kevin enjoyed, what music he preferred to listen to, if he had any hobbies to speak of. She simply didn't know. His love of sweets was quite literally the only thing she'd uncovered in the whole of her life. Now that Emily thought of it, the fact made her quite ashamed.

"It is discouraged." Was Kevin's bland reply, and it seemed like a poor admission to the revelation she had come to.

She frowned, and fisted her hands in the cloak. "Eating things that you enjoy hardly impedes with your abilities. It shouldn't be an issue. You are a grown man, you can do whatever you want. No one is going to tell you to lay off the sweets!" She looked at him this time, and she was surprised to see that he was looking back down at her for the first time since leaving the estate. She met his eyes head on, Kevin was a daunting person, but she had never once feared him, and she wasn't about to mince words. "And if they do, then you can give them a sound thrashing, and it won't matter one bit! You may be in service to the Sinclair family, but that doesn't mean you aren't allowed to be who you want to be!"

Emily couldn't tell what his eyes were trying to tell her, what emotions churned in their depths. It was too dark, and perhaps that was for the better. "But it means that you aren't allowed to be who you want to be." There was no emotion behind the statement. It was plain and simple, and Emily deflated, a sigh escaping her mouth. 

"It shouldn't, but it does." There was the truth of it. Her idealism did not change the fact that they both had expectations that they were obligated to fulfill. That was simply the truth of it. Perhaps they were not so different, but what did it really matter? Maybe not at all. "Doesn't mean I have to like it." She grumbled in response, as if that was any sort of consolation. As if that meant anything at all.

The silence permeated the cool air, and Emily sighed again, before looking back up at the stars. The whole situation was pointless; her idealism a childish fantasy, in a setting that had no interest in who she wanted to be. 

"I would enjoy it." 

Emily would have missed the statement if they had been in any other setting. Kevin was not often soft spoken, and when he was, his words never seemed to carry. But in that looming darkness, with only the stars as their witness, with the silence dancing all around them, and the rustling of the grass, she heard it. She'd heard the statement loud and clear, and she didn't know what it meant. She heard a confused "What?" tumble out of her mouth before she could snap her jaw shut once more. 

From the suspicious puff of air that she heard come from him, she thought he might have wanted to laugh. Maybe. "I would enjoy a tea party." He clarified, and suddenly, the statement made sense. 

She smiled to herself, and kept her eyes angled up at the stars. "Then we shall have one. Just you and I, and you can enjoy it. I'll be a lady tomorrow, you know. So I'll get to have tea parties whenever I want, and with whomever I want." Her smile widened. "I'm sure I'll be able to work you into my very busy schedule. And we'll have to hope that my husband already has a superb pastry chef, or I'll have to go searching for one myself."

"I do seem to remember someone offering a week's worth of deserts." She detected just the slightest hint of something playful in the tone, and she wondered for a long time if she had really heard it or not. Kevin was not playful, never had been, but she could have sword she heard it.

She ran her fingers through her windswept hair in an attempt to make it look like less of a mess, but the action had the opposite effect. She really didn't mind. "I'm sure something can be arranged."


End file.
